Fucking Hell It’s a Baby! Run!

Fucking Hell It's a Baby! Run!

Classless title aside, I really do love babies. I want to hold them and rock them and squish their little faces so they look like tiny, grumpy old men. the problem is, I can’t create families in my writing worth a damn. Too many characters, and they all have relationships.



Avengers: Kickin’ It Baby Style

Avengers: Kickin' It Baby Style

Aw! Loki looks like I feel 90% of the time.



Oh the wonders of Google for finding a proper image to go along with the one inside my head.

750 Words

I miss NaNoWriMo. I had someone to kick my ass and get me to write something every day, even if it did turn out to be shit. After it ended, I kept going, riding on the tails of my own success for about a month. and then the post-NaNo slump set in.

My motivation was lost. Why write, if the only reason I did it was to cleanse the inside of my head?

I drank a lot of coffee.

I painted.

I briefly considered taking up smoking and being a hipster. Both were entirely to gross for my liking.

Last month, I saw a light at the end of my tunnel. 750 Words. I’m saved! This site is what NaNo was, only year round. As you might guess, the goal is to write 750 words a day. It’s unedited, uncensored, and completely private, so you can basically write whatever the hell you want without worrying about anything. There are even monthly challenges to enter, where you basically just write for the whole month, and at the end you earn some sort of badge that goes on your profile.

This is like finding Jesus, only it wasn’t dead.

There’s A Brick Wall Inside My Head

It’s not apparent to the naked eye.

Still, maddening.

I fret, I worry, I pull at my hair.

I hurl fruitless abuse at my computer.

Still the blank white field mocks me.

Daring me to defile its virgin page.

I wish I were not so creative.

Roll With It

Roll With It

Gender swaps are always fun. One of the many things I use to combat the evils of writer’s block.

I’m Great At Lists

I actually stole this from a thread on Scribophile, but in turn I’m pretty sure they took it from somewhere else, so I’m just spreading the love, because I think it’s awesome. It’s basically about what makes a good character, enjoy!

1-      Every scuffed shoe and stained collar provides reams of information for your reader, and makes your job easier.

2-      Every character, whether major or minor is motivated by something.

3-      Rather than describing your character through physical appearance, try creating a sense of who he is and how he looks based on what he does and how he moves.

4-      It’s only through writing and rewriting that characters finally gain their feet and become well defined.

5-      Good characters almost never see themselves as others do.

6-      Interview or observe someone who shares your character’s experience.

7-      Characters are what they do.

8-      Part of a character’s identity is what others say about him.

9-      If the circumstances change, is okay for the characters to change too.

10-  Physical description is not characterization.

11-  First impressions are important: when a character first shows up in a story, readers start to like them or dislike them right away.

12-  It is always good to give characters endearing imperfections. Humans are not perfect.

13-  Murder will only make a character into a villain if he commits the crime for selfish reasons, and if the crime harms people who don’t deserve to be hurt.

14-  No one likes to read the dull parts of a character’s life. In our own journals we tend to write down only what was interesting, skipping the boring parts of the day.

15-  Everyone alive has habits and characters should too.

16-  Don’t allow your characters to do stupid or illogical things.

17-  Character transformation can be one of the most powerful effects in any story.

18-  The highest character qualities are forgiveness and self-sacrifice.

19-  Characters shouldn’t always act in character. People are not always predictable.

20-  All stories are character driven.

It’s Cool to Play with Knives! (Or: How to Offend Your Readers)

Please note that I do not condone running, playing, licking, stabbing with, poking with, touching, carving, or sharpening knives. I also do not condone their use in video games, board games, or instructional videos for new employees. 

I’m kidding, I love knives. 

Moving on! This post actually has very little to do with knives, I was just using them for a metaphor referring to subjects that are offensive. See what I did there? Yeah, I’m so deep. 

I have a fairly decent following on different sites where I post on a semi regular basis. I’ll set a warning now, 90% of what I write is erotica, so most of this post will pertain to that subject. It’s just the way my brain works, okay? Most of my feedback is nothing but glowing praise (except the stuck up bitches on Literotica, my porn isn’t classy enough for them), but every so often I get someone who is mortally offended by something I’ve written. So I’ve decided to compile my main complaints here into a post. 

1. “Rape’s not cool man! How can you even write about it!” 

     No. No it’s not. But there’s a line between fantasy and reality. I realize that it’s a tender subject for some people, but does that mean I’m going to shy away from it? Again, no. I will not. My writing has a clear trigger warning on it, so pay attention to that. On another note, I don’t write it very often, but sometimes there’s just this destructive mood that comes over me, and I create sadists, and rapists, and all manner of fucked up personalities- that exist ONLY on paper.  My characters are not a reflection of who I am, in that sense. 

2. “Why is everybody gay! OMFG can’t even deal right now!” 

     Because I love gay people. Not even joking right now. Orientation and gender are two of my favorite things to play with. A lot of people, namely the ones sending me angry messages, seem to think that we as humans are rigidly defined by barriers that, in reality, are quite flimsy. Don’t get me wrong, I have a lot of love and respect for the straight community, but in my mind, straight is boring. And I say that in the kindest way possible. I like to explore alternate love, between men and men, women and women, two men and a woman, two women and a man, three of the same- the possibilities are endless! Hetero romance books are a dime a dozen on the bookstore shelves, mine are a wee bit more unconventional, and I like it that way. 

3. “Dude you write some messed up people.” 

     Yup, sure do. Not everybody’s perfect, I find the people with the most cracks and scars often have the most interesting stories to tell. 

4. “Why vampires?” 

Because I get along better with monsters than real people. 

But really: I live for the darker side of life. Compare the old fairy tales to the ones today. Huge difference! Back then, there were things with sharp teeth and shadows, and they ate people. Every drop of blood, every life taken, drew them further and further from the humanity they had once possessed. And that’s not even mentioning the ones that weren’t human to start with. What a struggle it must be, realizing how far you’ve slipped. 

5. “Why is everybody sexing everybody else!?!?”

     Do…your characters…not? Sex is fun. Sex is useful. Sex is fun. Did I say that already? Silly me. Human sexuality is something that’s fascinated me since, well, before it was legal for me to be fascinated by it. Our bodies are pretty complex as it is, and sex is one of the many things that combines emotional attachment with a physical aspect. We use it to convey love, lust; to make offspring; and that’s not even counting the other emotions: apology, anger, boredom, my favorite song is on…

In conclusion, I don’t think I really said much that was useful here, so I’ll cram my advice into the last paragraph. People will always be offended. It’s human nature. That’s no reason to ignore or shy away from the sensitive subjects though, write what makes you happy, and trust that for every offended person out there, there’s also someone who will read the piece and say “Wow, I like this!”

Writing Prompt: Dreams

A lot of the time, I don’t sleep well. It results in late nights spent staring at my ceiling, or sitting half awake at my desk scribbling things in my notebooks by pencil. Things that make absolutely no sense when I read them again the next morning. I have something called recurring nightmares. It’s always the same, down to the last detail. I have three that keep coming back, and despite research spelling out some line about stress in real life causing them, I haven’t found a cure even by confronting my “inner demons”. A better method I’ve found is shutting them up with chocolate and dirty jokes. Anyway, here’s the prompt. 

Prompt: What’s the oddest dream you’ve ever had? Why was it odd? How did you feel when you woke up? 

Example: I dreamed once that I was a penguin. I lived in a world of white ice and small pockets of crystal water. The passing of time held no interest or meaning, blurring past in a haze of days and nights, until one morning, I woke to find a dragon on the horizon. It was big, bigger than my tiny feathered body, dragging scaled limbs slowly over the ice. Someone had injured it- there was a trail of blood in its heavy wake, thick and foul smelling, like sulfur. As it reached me, it stopped, and we stared at each other for a long time. After awhile it simply lay down, and I watched it die. 

When I woke up, I was confused as all hell. It was a pleasant respite from the usual dreams, but I didn’t quite know what to make of the penguin and the dragon. 


Question: what happens when you mix an addictive personality with a short attention span? 

Fucking Pinterest. 

Every time I swear that “this is my last account!”, something pops up to prove me wrong. Recently, I signed up for an account, just to see what the buzz was about. I understand the buzz now. Every time I’m on, it overloads my tiny little brain with pictures, and words, and more pictures, and yaoi, and food porn, and…yeah. See, I’m a visual person. A lot of time, when I hit writer’s block, I surf DeviantArt and, if I’m desperate, Google with the safe search turned off. Not recommended for the faint of heart. So having a way to collect pictures that inspire me and put them together in one place so easily is so cool, it’s also a really bad idea because I spend literal hours hunched at my computer squinting at a screen, pinning random things.